Starting Over

A lot has happened since I last posted.

My dad passed away in February, and I just haven’t had it in me to share anything since. I’ve been feeling unmotivated—even getting out of bed has been hard these past few months.

Retail therapy has been my best friend since it happened. I've been buying tons of makeup and spending so much time caring for my skin these days. Just because I feel like shit doesn't mean I have to look the part. I was raised by a very strong person. You couldn't even tell when my father was going through something; you'd probably only hear about it once it was over. Everyone says I act like him. My dad was known for always putting his best foot forward regardless of how he felt. No one even knew he had cancer until he died.

Lately, I’ve been finding comfort in beautiful things. Aesthetically pleasing things make me happy. I like things that look pretty on my vanity table. These lipsticks are from a small brand called Velvet Cosmetics. I really adore the vintage-themed packaging, and they also have a replica line, which I love. I own both their Marilyn and Audrey-inspired lipsticks; they're honestly so underrated! I'm looking to get the 189 Audrey lipstick from Lisa Eldrige to see how it compares.

Now I'd normally opt for Bésame for vintage-inspired makeup, but their quality has significantly gone down, and their new items are just... ick! I feel like the brand doesn't know what it wants to be anymore and they're just milking whatever they can out of their fading popularity.

These are a few Bésame products I've collected and loved over the years. I miss when they paid so much attention to detail and quality. I remember how many times I got tagged by friends on their Insider feature. Rewatching it today makes me so sad over the loss of passion and creativity. Have you seen the new packaging? So disappointing.

What brand is this from again?

Here's a foundation stick I saved for later that I ended up not using, and I'm so happy I never did!

It will stay brand new in my collection since I'll never be able to get my hands on another one of these again.

You can see how much I loved this mascara cake. I feel like it's the only one left in their current collection that still has a vintage feel to it, though I'm not willing to risk buying from the brand now, especially since I'd have to ship it here all the way from the US.

I'm looking to start posting more. I'm trying to ease my way back into the things I love. I've since picked up several old hobbies I've abandoned years ago, like learning languages and sewing things for myself. I’m not fully “back” yet; I know it will take a while. I'm trying my best, and maybe that's enough for now.